depressed.

She smiles with all that she has left, yet tears are left un-dried.   And though she's got so much to say, she bottles it up inside.  If you look past her broken eyes to a shadow no one sees, a disguise so you won't recognize, the girl is really me...

 I'm going to smile...and make everyone thinks I'm happy...I'm going to laugh...so everyone don't see me cry...and even if it kills...I'm going to smile and smile.

i'm tired of pleasing everyone

No matter how hard you try, no matter how many hours you spend pondering and planning, and regardless of how hard you try, you absolutely cannot please everyone. It is impossible. So do yourself a favor and stop now, before you drive yourself farther toward insanity. There are many drawbacks to being a people-pleaser.  A big one is that you often put yourself in a position of subservience. Sometimes you even put yourself last, which helps no one. Remember that helping yourself and doing what you feel is important should be valued. Find worth in your own opinions and viewpoint, and don't let your desire to please others compel you to keep yourself in the background.  Falling short of perfection only proves that you are a normal human being. ::i'm tired of pleasing everybody as  they don't even care about my feeling::

bila nak kawin?

salam,
lately, when i becoming older in term of age, huh
many people stumble me, and ask this kind of question
WHEN WILL YOU GET MARRIED HUH?
honestly,
i'm tired of answering this kind of question,
but, who am I to avoid this fact?
so, here I wanna share my answer
from my point of view.,
hope some of you will be satisfied with it

firstly, my mum do not allow me to get married while studying, she wants me to work and have a stable life before having serious relationship, she wants me to able pamper her, entertain her pleases her before i get married as I'm the only daughter she has. many hopes, she wishes from me and i'm not gonna ignore them just to fulfill my desire. my family is everything for me!

secondly, "sape dlm dunia ini xnk kawen?" , but as we all know..it is the matter of fate.. it is Allah's work!! all i have to do is searching, waiting patiently and always pray for the best..may Allah show me the right person.
even are several men are approaching me, but my heart keeps denying that they are my future half side. how can I accept them when my heart is not firm with them, i'm not that kind of person who like to give others hope of uncertain thing. that is not really me!

thirdly, I am neither good nor perfect, but i keep on trying to make myself one before I am pleading for others to do so, that why..Allah knows best what He is up to me..may be He's not giving me this kind of responsibility because he wants me to refine myself and prepare me for something big, who knows!

fourthly, maybe it is a tradition in my family, when most of my cousins are still not married even though they are more qualified than me in term of so called age.

fifthly, when come to relationship I am appealing for serious and responsible man to be my man, not for fun. someone that, has the intention to marry me.  i'm not going to waste my time for crying and missing someone who is not meant to be with me, is is enough to play around man!

sixth, as I mention earlier, this is Allah works! cepat o lambat semua dh trtulis d Luh Mahfuz, what can I say, is InsyaAllah, dlm mse trdekat, klu Allah dh takdirkan sy kawen, kawin la sy...do pray for me ya!

siapa tahu, mngkin si Dia tu ad d sekeliling sy cuma sy x menyedarinya, n mngkin Allah belum mahu menunjukkan siapa orang itu, kepada y dh brpunya..kawinlah, kerana itu sdh rezeki kamu utk kawin awal..jangan bebani saya dgn soalan2 y x mampu saya jawab krn Allah lbh mengetahui..
bg sy, Allah masih ad perancangan trbek utk sy..

mne thu, sy d takdirkan mati sblm kawin..andai e2 trjadi..ramai akn brsedih n mngkin 'suami' sy turut brsedih. mngkin sbb e2 sy belum kawin,  Allah x mahu 'suami' sy sedih...siapa tahu? hanya Allah y maha mengetahui.

INSYAALLAH, DENGAN IZIN-NYA SAYA AKAN KAWIN, BUT IT JUST THE MATTER OF TIME.. If I am married everyone will be noted, thnaks..i hope this post will satisfy those who always ask me this kind of question. Allah knows best!

marry is the matter of fate..searching is not done until you found one that suits you best but not the one is perfect, even those who are deeply in love n engage are not end well..Allah knows best!

sad

i'm so sad

i'm just upset!

i'm not really like someone who keeps on telling me 

what i'm suppose to do

i'm i so stupid to understand your first message?

i've my own brain to think what is the best way to do

if 

i'm not doing it, its not because i'm too lazy o too stupid to understand

it just because

i'm not well

why everyone likes to order me anything they like?

no one 

understand my condition

i'm not a kind of person that like to ask for others 

to give their attention on me

or

feel pity on me

just 

understand my condition

that all

friday
23/9/11

kawin

bismillahirahmanirahim..

lme x update blog nih..

skrg dh ari ke-6 syawaal menjelma

ramai sungguh kawan2 sy y blajar sme2 kt sekolah dlu dh brtunang n brkahwin

tahniah kepada mereka..

huhuhu

saya bila lg?

erm, hanya Allah y tahu, semoga dipermudahkan segalanya..

Amin...

pape pom,

tahniah sxli lg kwn2

semoga kekal sepanjang hayat kamu!

biskut2

alhamdulillah,

semalam menjdai jgk tart nenas percubaan pertama saya..huhu

mula2 mmg takot jgk..kot2 x jd..membazir je..

lps mengikuti semua sukatan y diberi..

alhamdulillah

akhirnya menjadi jgk tart nenas saya..

after an hour

then, siap lah tart nenas y harum n rangup..hehe

antara reaksi y diterima apabila siapnya biskut tu..

mak:

ermm, sedap doh nih, buleh wt banyak jenis lg nih..erm,, esk wt biskut len pula..wt chip chocolate biscuits lak..( dlm ati ku,,fuhhhh..lega)

abah:

(y sentiasa memberi komen negative,,huhu..tp tu y menaikkn semangat)

uhh,,wt letih jah buat2 biskut nih..g pasar borong beli jah..x abis api, x nyusoh, x letih2 ko anak tino abah..huhu (ayat y last sxli..menyejukkan atiku, nsib bek!hehe)

disclaimer: dialog td mesti d baca dgn dialek kelantan..hehe

then, azam ku..

ttp nk wt biskut lg..hehe

lampu hijau dh d berikan oleh mem besar..hehe..

p/s: t sy upload gambo yer!